Crawling Out From Under

I have been completely unfocused now for going on two plus weeks. I have put it off on the weather, (over 11 days of rain), hormones, (well, everyone else does), allergies, (there is pollen blowing about when it’s not raining), but never really putting my finger on the real trouble.

I cry at the drop of a hat. Okay not really but I found myself walking past a possum dead in the road yesterday, along with two dead baby possums and I burst into tears.

I watched an older movie on one of the movie channels titled, “The Power of One” and bawled my way through it.

Maybe trouble isn’t the right word and I don’t know what is, but I think its finally hitting me.

May is a tricky time of year for me. Mother’s Day is followed closely by my mother’s birth date, May 16. Then you can segue on to mid June, when my mother died.

But that’s not everything.


Saturday is the Boy Wonder’s prom. Followed closely by his graduating from high school. If you all remember, it’s really his junior year but he chose to graduate early a few months back.

But wait, there’s more.

The Hubster ia about to go through some changes with his job. It is all for the best, onwards and upwards as they say, but a transition nonetheless.

Let’s also take into account that we are in the process of a ton of work on this house to get it ready to sell in the quickest time possible. While we are also fervently seeking out that acreage to buy where we will all resettle and build into our futures. A future made of organically raised beef, lamb, milk, eggs, chickens, herbs, berries and veggies. Horses of our own, boarded horses and leased horses. In a new state, where new friends are to be found and made and new local publications will be wooed to feature my writing.

It all sounds lovely and exciting doesn’t it?

So why am I so out of sorts?

Well, let’s call this Post One of a series called, “If Change is Good, Why am I So Damn Scared?”

Tune in for Post Two – “If I’m Letting go, Why Are My Knuckles White?”