9.24.2005

Buy stock in Kleenex, the weather's changed.....

Just when I think I’m better than Angel, I get a head cold.

Sore throat followed by an obnoxious cough and a never-ending runny nose.

For two days I don’t care what I look like, I just want to live to taste food again.

There is no satisfaction in putting food in your mouth when you can’t taste anything. It’s like sex without the orgasm.

Why. Bloody. Bother.

Don’t even start in with the psychobabble about the shared intimacy and there’s more to sex than the orgasm------

Bloody. Shut. Up.

It’s. Not. True.

Okay look. It’s like running. Ever listen to people who do it? You would think it was a religious experience with harps, flowers and fluffy clouds.

You’re sold. You want you some of that. You go out buy a pair of running shoes that cost as much as a good used car, but it’s worth it, we’re talking change your life here and you look so damn cute in them. You then buy up every pink and purple bit of spandex running apparel there is and you’re off and running!

And sweating. And wheezing and it’s not invigorating, exhilarating or any of that line of crap they sold you.

They Lied.

Still, you’re confused and convinced that there’s something wrong with you. Maybe you’re not doing it right.

Come on. It’s running. We’ve been doing it since we were two.

Maybe we didn’t do it long enough. Two excruciating weeks later, it still sucks.

So you go out to see how other people do it. They’re not hard to find.

You study their form. Technique. Start noting what brand shoes they are wearing, their gear. Camel pack or water bottle? With a partner or without?

What am I missing?!?

Then it hits you. Square in the face. Not yours, THEIRS!

Look at their faces.

They look as miserable as you felt. All of them. Not a one has a smile, a look of inner peace or joy. They all look like someone just stole their cookies and punched them in the gut.

They lied.

Sex without an orgasm is no more fun than running. Food without the ability to taste it is a waste of calories.

And what does this have to do with me being better than Angel??!!?

Well. You know how after a couple days of non-stop wiping and blowing, your nose turns a lovely shade of red and gets all dry and crusty?

Where is someone like Angel when you need them?

I have yet to figure out a way to cover that up and/or tone it down so as not to scare old people and small children.

Make-up only seems to make it worse and as soon as you blow your nose again- can you say- Michael Jackson?

OY! Pass the bloody tissues.
posted by Angel @ 1:45 PM |

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