Horton hears a pixel ping

I know. It’s been the talk of the entire blogosphere thingy.

Where’s Angel and when will she be back????

Okay. Maybe not the entire blogosphere thingy.

Just a small corner.

A minute, tiny little spec--------

All right! A bloody pixels worth.

But hey, a pixel is a pixel no matter how small and should not be ignored.

This is for you pixel!

New Years. Something needs to be done.

Is there a holiday that matches it in all its anti-climatic glory?

If you’re single you had better have a date. It’s like the junior prom all over again.

It doesn’t matter who the date is just have one.

You and said date get overly dressed and have an overly priced dinner out with all the other bazillion people out having their overly priced dinners with their questionable dates and being seen doing it so as not to be the topic of the bazillions and their hangover conversations on January 1st.

Because nobody makes a resolution not to gossip, that would be impossibly unrealistic.

Let’s stick with the resolutions that we all know we can keep.

• Go on a diet
• Go to the gym
• Get out of debt

We know we can do them because we do them every year.

For a day and a half and then we get over it. Or at least bury them in excuses and rationalizations.

It’s okay though because nobody gives you a hard time about it. They’re all too busy breaking--- ermmmm, rationalizing their own.

Last year I wanted to get back my faith.

In people, life, but mostly myself.

I even bought a silver ring inscribed with the word, which was way more chic than tying the tired string around my finger.

Of course I could’ve made it a red string and told everyone I had started my own offshoot sect of the Kabbalah and sent the entire throng of celebrities who aren’t actual Kabbalah followers but just play one on the red carpet into a tail-spin trying to find a local chapter of the new, finger-wrapped, sect.

Okay. Sidetrack with me for just a sec.

Do you know what the red string is for?

“The Red String protects us from the influences of the Evil Eye. Evil Eye is a very powerful negative force. It refers to the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us. According to Kabbalah, the critical need to confront the problem of negative influences cannot be underestimated.”

Uh huh.

Stay with me.

When my son was 2 he started waking up in the middle of the night screaming about spiders in his room.

After a few days and no signs that it would end soon I needed to come up with something to stop the madness.

At bedtime the last thing I would do was spray his room to kill the spiders.

No, of course I was not really filling my son’s room with insecticide every night for 3 months, I was spraying an all-natural citrus oil spray.

His room smelled great and we all got a good night’s sleep again.

All I’m saying is he was 2.

So everyone out there who thinks that you are causing Madonna and company great grievous harm with your dirty looks-----jokes on you.

This year I’m going to start being gentler with myself.

I am harder on myself than anyone. I’m the only one who I continue to allow to drag me down and beat with a stick.

I don’t need no stinking string to protect me from other people’s negativity---just my own.

I don’t think I can fit that inscription on a ring.

Am I too old to be seen in public with my blankie?

Happy New Year!