Alone again, naturally.

I am tired. Bone tired. The kind of tired where there is no amount of sleep that takes the edge off, tired.

We have been moving towards this move, (see, tired), for so long that I can’t really believe it’s all happening. Seemingly fast and of it’s own accord. Or maybe not, since if it were, I probably wouldn’t be so bloody … wait for it … TIRED.

Let’s go back to The Hubster’s hiatus. No really, can we? This Sunday he headed back to NY after we had spent four whole weeks together. Mind you most of it was covered in sweat and dirt and mulch and then there were the times we were doing massive amounts of garden work. (See what I just did there? How I slyly made a reference to what you were thinking was yard work and then made it all seem … seemly and dirty and then I confused you and threw in garden work and now you don’t know where the garden work ends and the sex begins. Yes, sex. We are married after all.) That night after he left I didn’t sleep very well at all.


Took me forever to fall asleep and then I had a series of nightmares with one of them ending when I woke myself up yelling for the Boy Wonder to dial 911. Thank goodness he never heard me. I haven’t remembered a dream in months let alone had any nightmares. Although, if I had really needed BW to dial 911, I wouldn’t have fared very well I guess. Small blessing that every time I woke and I reached for Ozzy’s furriness, he was there every time. First time he’d slept on the bed since Hubster arrived home.



What a four weeks it was. Despite all the hard work we managed to do the little things that we miss out on during the other 11 months a year. Go out for coffee in the morning and plan the day, break for lunch together and then after getting things and ourselves cleaned up every night, we’d sit down to a fabulous meal and a good bottle of wine. Most every lunch and dinner was had on the back deck and conversation lasted into the night until the bugs braved past the Tiki torches and drove us inside.


Yup, it’s been a long two years of this married but alone 6 days a week, eleven months a year. Good thing I’m nearly 45 because at 25 this would have worked for about 23 seconds.

So we are more than ready for the move and when an offer was accepted on the acreage we’ve been dreaming about for the last six months I was elated. For two minutes. Then I went directly forward to the next six things that could go terribly wrong. Why? Because I am special that way. Deal with it, I have to.

I’m looking at another sleepless night tonight. Tomorrow I head to NY and meet with the bank that’s going to process the land loan and then later that afternoon we are having the closing on our home equity loan to cover the %25 down required for the land loan. Then we will be paying two mortgages between now and when we sell the house.

I need to get my hands on a Timber Frame builder as soon as the loans are both all set. See, we are going to live in the second story apartment I’ve designed while we take our time building the farmhouse up on the hill and we can get started right in with the horses, chickens, sheep and beef. I have absolutely no idea how long the process of getting the two story post and beam barn built and we can move in will take.

The good news? We can live in the crew house between the time the house sells and we can move into the barn. If living with two camera guys, the three of us, our four cats and one dog is good news.

I need to take another little nap.


2006 Dawn Marie Kelly ~ all rights reserved